August 18, 2006
Volume 34
Issue 33
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Sunday, May 09, 2021



Sex Talk by Simon Shepard
Speaking of the weather
An old Cole Porter song complained that when summertime weather sapped a fellow's sexual energies, it was "too darn hot." And there is something about intense sunshine that can induce lust-draining lassitude. One sex-mad San Franciscan says, "It's usually pretty cool here, so when the temperature climbs above 85, it's tough for me to stand up, much less get it up."

That is, though, a minority opinion. For many homos, heat equals getting hard - which is fortunate in this age of global warming. From Miami's South Beach to the sun-kissed strands of L.A., sand has become synonymous with sex. Spring-breakers in heat migrate to Mexico, after all, not north to Alaska. "Face it," says one ardent beachgoer, "a guy who's only wearing swimming trunks is just a whole lot sexier than someone bundled up in skiwear. And hey, I wish more guys still wore tight Speedos instead of baggy bathing suits."

Even far from the coasts, August can get the juices flowing. Says an Ohioan, "When there's one of those big summer-evening thunderstorms, it's just so dramatic and sexy. There's nothing more romantic than making love while thunder's crashing."

Certainly, the tropics have a reputation for hanky-panky. Some of that is no doubt due to cultural imperialism: Early explorers from colder climes were ostensibly appalled by the nearly naked cultures they found - though they may have secretly envied the sexual freedom they perceived beneath the palm trees. Nineteenth-century English explorer Richard Burton even wrote of a "Sodatic zone," a swath near the equator where male/male sex was supposedly more widespread than in foggy London town.

Sometimes, comfy climes can cause penile paradoxes. Balmy Fort Lauderdale, for instance, features beaches crammed with body-conscious Queers. But it's also become something of a center for leathermen, even though, as one Floridian says, "It's usually too hot to wear any leather bigger than a studded jockstrap."

It's not surprising that sex can be seasonal. Animals, after all, often have mating seasons, and it's silly to assume that homosexual Homo sapiens are any different. Medical researchers point out that hot days can indeed boost the sex drive, but might cause unsafe sex of a climatically climactic sort. Heat, it seems, increases the risk of heart attacks. Nobody wants a hot stiffy to turn into a cold stiff, so one doctor advises that those having hot fun in the summertime should make love "calmly."

In much of the world, it's not always broiling, of course. Spring, with its warming days and budding blossoms, brings a hopefulness that can carry over to carnal matters. Baggy winter clothes go back in the closet, and the sap rises. Conversely, the cool, waning days of autumn can make one yearn for a lover - or at least a good roll in the harvested hay.

And then there's winter. Wintertime's short, gray days can cause clinical depression. SAD, short for "seasonal affective disorder," hits hard around January. Classically, depression is no great friend to desire. But though SAD can cause binge eating, it can also instill a burning desire to put something else in one's mouth. "Good sex cheers me right up," one hardy, horny Northerner says. "There's something about winter that makes me really crave human touch, a warm body to stop me from shivering. It might be snowy outside, but when there's a hot guy in my bed, it's always fair weather."

So, sure, everyone talks about the weather. But you can do something about it. Whether it's warm, cold, or rainy, you can always have sex.

Simon Sheppard is the author of Sex Parties 101, Kinkorama, and In Deep: Erotic Stories, and can be reached at Visit Simon at

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